A Japanese Tourist In Tanzania

A Japanese tourist was visiting, Tanzania for the first time. While
inside the taxi, he was so amazed by loads of Japanese
technology he met along the way and was bragging about
them to the taxi driver:
"Mitsubishi, made in Japan… very fast!" 
“Toyota,.. made in Japan... very fast!"
"Nissan, made in Japan... very fast!"
upon arriving at his hotel, he asked for the fare and was told it was $200.
"What? Why so expensive?!!" he protested.
Tanzanian Driver to the Japanese: "Taxi meter, made in Japan… very fast!!!"<br><br><br>

A Boss In Search of a Secretary...

A boss has to interview four girls for a secretary position.

He asked each of them the same tricky question...

Boss: "A woman normally has two lips. What's the difference between the two?"

First Girl: "one is hairy, the other isn't!"
Boss: "ok.. good!"

Second Girl: "one can talk but the other can't!"
Boss: "that's better!"

Third Girl: "one is vertical & the other is horizontal!"
Boss: "Hmm.. clever!"

Last Girl: "one is for MY use & the other is for my BOSS!"
Boss: "you are HIRED..

The Honest Robot...

One day Jesse's dad brought home a robot. The robot was special in
that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the
face.
Jesse returned late from school that day and his dad asked him,
"Son why are you late from school?" 
Jesse answered, "Dad, we had extra classes today". Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Jesse on his face.

His dad told him, 
"Son this robot is special in that it can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth. Why are you late?"
"Dad, I went to a movie" 
"Which movie?"
"The Ten Commandments"


Immediately, Jesse got a slap on the face from the ! robot. "Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie called Sex Queen".

"Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved"
Immediately, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing the last sentence,
Jesse’s mother comes walking out of the kitchen and sarcastically says to her husband, "After all he is YOUR son!!!"
To which the robot steps up and gives Jesse’s mother a slap on her face!

How Words Become Confusing With Time...

When I was a KID:

Pussy meant CAT,
Sex meant GENDER,
Bitch was a FEMALE DOG,
Dick was a NAME,
BJ was a NICK-NAME,
Bang was a SOUND,
Rubber was just like PLASTIC,
Screw was just a NUT,
Tit was just for getting MILK
Head meant a part of BODY !!

But Now Mmmh!

Everything is just Damn Complicated???!!!

A Crazy Kid In Love...

Kids could b crazy at times:

A five year old Kid was trying to write and his dad caught him in the middle of it...
Dad: Son, What are you doing...???
Son: Writting to my girfriend...
Dad: Do u know how to write...???
Son: No.. So what?? My girlfriend doesn't know how to read....after all Its LOVE Dad, you wouldn't understand!!!

Family Relationship...

Somebody asked this dude, "if your mother is sometimes called mum, then what would you call your mum's younger and elder sisters?"
The dude as fast as he could, he answered, "i'd call them minimum and maximum respectively"
The guy was left in awe!

A Boy Approaching A Girl...

BOY: Hey Girl, you know what A, B, C means?
GIRL: What?
BOY: Always Be Careful
GIRL: ahan then?
BOY: D, E, F, G
Girl : ??
BOY: Don't Ever Forget That
GIRL: Forget what?
BOY: That I'm H, I
Girl: Whats H, I ?
BOY: Happilly Inlove
GIRL: so
BOY: J, K, L, M, Just Keep Loving Me
GIRL: and how about N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z ?
BOY: No Other Person Quite, Reasonable, Shall Treat U Very Well Xcept me You'll
Zee!

A Husband and His Wife At Home...

A husband was with his wife at home, then he wanted to surprise her by calling her with a different phone number, so he went to his bedroom and called his wife. His wife answered and replied, "please call me later, this pig is still inside the house..."


The husband came out furiously with a hoe while saying, "your surprise today is to make you my farm"!!!

A Tanzanian Woman In The American Bar...

A woman frm TZ is sitting in a bar in New York with 2 guys beside her. 
The 1st guy says 2 the Bartender, "Johnnie Walker, single". 
The 2nd guy orders, "Jack Daniel's, Single". 
After that, the bartender asks the lady, 
she replies with confidence, "Asha Selemani, Married".